ASSlete of the week

CHARLESTON, South Carolina — World number one Caroline Wozniacki captured her third title of 2011 Sunday, launching her clay court season with a victory over Elena Vesnina in the Family Circle Cup final.

The top-seeded Dane defeated Vesnina 6-2, 6-3 to add the title to those she won at Dubai and Indian Wells, California, and admitted the triumph on Charleston's green clay had her looking ahead to the red clay of Roland Garros.

"I feel confident and I know I can win a Slam," said Wozniacki

So not only is this girl the best tennis player in the world, she very well may be the hottest...I dont think theres a better way to start off the ASSlete of the week than this. Leave it to the Scandinavians to come up with someone this sexy. Caroline, play with my balls please?

ANOTHER REASON THAT...cops suck

The Associated Press

SEOUL, South Korea -- 

South Korean police say they've arrested a farmer for allegedly hiding about $10 million in cash in a garlic field. Police say his relatives made the money by running an illegal Internet gambling site.

Police said Tuesday they've confiscated the money the farmer buried in his field in Gimje, about 160 miles (260 kilometers) south of Seoul.

Police say the farmer, surnamed Lee, was arrested Monday.

They say Lee's two brothers-in-law - one in prison and the other on the run - had asked him to hide the money.

Police gave no further details, including what charges Lee's borthers-in-law face and whether the discovered money would add to their charges.

Ok ya this guy broke the law, but this is one of those times that an "ok you got us, keep the money" law is necessary. I mean how much more badass does it get? I remember a guy who hacked into our school's grading system...they suspended him. What they should have done was say, holy shit this kids good...get him a job. Same principle here. Imagine how hard this guy worked to keep all that cash a secret. Let him reap the benefits of his labor. 

"WNBA? Why the hell would you do that?"

We can all agree this girl is really fucking hot. Skylar Diggins is one of the best (womens) basketball players in the country. She will be one of the highest draft picks when she goes to the WNBA...which leads me to my point; in her case, being one of the best professional basketball players is actually a bad career choice. The smart career choice? be smokin for a living! Use your brain, and choose the job where you make more money (the maximum salary for a player is 95,000) and do nothing but sit there and let people look at you.

You Gotta Love This Kid

Ok this kid probably hasn't looked in the mirror recently but i dont want him to...he's absolutely killing it and making everyone look stupid, then probably drives home in his prius...absolute legend im calling this kid to be the next Ali Farokhmanesh